Jersey Shore meets Little Mermaid in this rousing tale of Gabrielle afraid being afraid of fatherhood. Did someone slip mushrooms into Gabrielle’s tea that morning? How do a human and mermaid produce an octopus? Does this mean Gabrielle technically has an illogical twin? The world may never know. 

Let it be known that if another femmeslash subtextual couple is created, it shall be Xena and Gabrielle, Queens of the Land of Subtext, who shall welcome them and redirect them to the Field of Eyesex where they shall stay until they move to Gratuitous Touching Street on the corner of Innuendo Road

All of Xena and Gabrielle’s one episode love interests walk into a bar

They’re all wearing red shirts.

that’s it.

that’s the joke.

Xena and Gabrielle have sex with each other via corneas, and bicker like they’ve been married for about fifty years. Everyone knows about them. Boobs make great lifts.

I am rather curious.

SHIPPERS AHOY

The episode not to watch if you are incredibly sexually frustrated.

Netflix knows what it’s talking about.

Also companion is now another word for lover best friend.